Reminder to self...

Mother's Day has never been one of my favorite holidays.

The beginning of this post is going to sound a bit down

but I write it to remind myself and to share with you how

gracious my God has been to me.

My Mom could never be there for me because she suffered

with depression. As a child I remember many fights between

us. As a teenager I became the caregiver for the family.

The relationship between my two sisters and me is a

strong bond. I watched over them (and still do) with a

cautious "mothers eye". I am twelve years older than my

baby sister so I seriously raised her. They are now grown with

families of their own...to be honest I felt that "empty nest" syndrome.

The other reason Mother's Day is hard for me is the fact that I don't have

any kiddos of my own. Last year the kids had a morning

program for the Mom's. One of the kid's parents was sitting across from

me and after the program the little 3yr old girl came running up and throws

her arms around her mom saying, "I love you Mommy".

My throat hurt so bad holding back the tears.

For the last two weeks I've been thinking about the promise He gave to

Sarah- the promise of a son. Also, Hannah has been on my heart- her

persistent prayers for a child of her own too. There are so many things I

could say here concerning these two Ladies of Faith but I'll just say the

thing that's echoing in my heart right now...persistent prayer and trusting Him.

It's only been in the last couple of years that I've allowed myself to bring

a secret dream, that's been tucked away in the back of my heart, to the

forefront of light. I would like to share with you the dream that I'm making

this year be the persistent prayer of my heart...I have always wanted to

adopt a child and IF it be God's will for my life and a precious life of another

I desire to ask.

God has already blessed me beyond measure in so many ways....

At the age of 19 I started teaching a Preschool Sunday School class

and He has taken me from there to Youth Ministry and many years

of working in childcare. He blessed me with caring for my family

and now He has made me the luckiest Aunt of all times!!!

I take my job as Aunt very seriously...there is not a day that I do not spoil

them rotten. Below is a picture of us at the park a couple weeks ago.

I pray over them every night. I wonder as they are heading out- what's down the path

of their lives. I can't wait to see what God has in store for their future!

My Mom is doing really good these days and God has brought

much healing in our lives over the past. It's been a long hard road

but it's amazing what forgivness can do in your life.

I know there are others of you out there with

some of the same emotions of hurt and worry...

I pray that God blesses each of you with a very Special Day!

I plan to spend the day resting in the peace...and the joy

that He is in control and His timing for my life is perfect.