New Years Eve at our house is such a special night for us. It's the one
holiday that we get to spend with a certian group of our family. Our
families have all gotten so big that we decided to get together on New
Years so everyone could spread out in the places they needed to be
during Thanksgiving and Christmas. New Years Eve is also special for
me in other ways. The first thirty years of my life the end of a year just
meant...Thank you Jesus I survived through that one! The last couple
of years though it's become more than that for me. It's become a chance
to be grateful for all God blessed me and my family with through the
year and for all the things he pulled us through in that year. I've never
done the New Year Resolution thing but the last couple years I've set
some goals... mainly graduating college. This year though I've been
thinking about a personal theme for the year. The one word that keeps
coming up is REAL. This is what I came up with last night....
Renewed Encouragement And Love
I used to be so good about (and was known for) sending cards and
notes of encouragement to others around me. When I was in college
the budget was cut way short and so found it hard to buy "just the
right card" for sending. Then college and work started weighing me
down until I didn't have the encouragment in me to send. I just found
myself longing for someone to see that I was the one in need of the card
or word of encouragement...cause quite frankly I was falling through
the crack fast. When encouragement never came I began to feel really
resentful. I mean after all I had done for others surely one person would
return my thoughtful act of kindness. I realize now that God wanted me
to look to Him for my encouragement and honey He didn't fail me. So
for me REAL means getting back to that place of putting others not just
in my thoughts and prayers but getting back to reminding them to hang
on and remember that they are loved.


Here's a piece from the devotional "Streams in the Desert"


"God knows exactly when to withhold or to grant us any visible sign of
encouragement. How wonderful it is when we will trust Him in either
case! Yet it is better when all visible evidence that He is remembering
us is withheld. He wants us to realize that His Word- His promise of
remembering us- is more real and dependable than any evidence our
senses may reveal. It is good when He sends the visible evidence, but
we appreciate it even more after we have trusted Him without it. And
those who are the most inclined to trust God without any evidence
except His Word always receive the greatest amount of visible evidence
of His love." Charles Gallaudet Trumbull


God has truly blessed me this year through all of you in this unique little
community of blogland! If the world outside our windows were more
like the place I find here in this window it sure would be nice. Anyway,
I love you and pray God's special Blessings for a Wonderful New Year.
I can't wait to see what He has in store for us all......

Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice...

I sure hope your Christmas was as Wonderful as mine.
Thought I would share some pictures of our Holiday Joy...

Here's Emmy G. singing some of her favorites...

Sharing some Christmas Joy with Grandmother while caroling...
The little Christmas Caroling Angels...

"My" two are the ones in the middle looking at camera...
Okay, this accomplishment impressed me. We
built the cutest Gingerbread House....I think ever.

So far so good....

Couple of Christmas Elves busy at work...or play...

See, not to bad...Hey, I'm just impressed the roof
finally stayed on....


The Kids on Christmas Sunday... couldn't you

eat 'em with a spoon....

Okay, Sharon, you better look fast 'cause this
little picture won't be staying up long ;)
See, I do have legs....=)

My Christmas Hoopla...

Okay, Sharon over at Sit With Me Awile has tagged me. Now, this really
is fun I'm just having trouble coming up with 12. Soooo here goes.


1. List 12 random things about yourself that has to do with Christmas
2. Please refer to it as a 'hoopla' and not the dreaded 'm'-word
3. You have to specifically tag people when you're done. None of this
"if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged" stuff is allowed...then
nobody ends up actually doing it. The number of people who you tag
is really up to you -- but the more, the merrier to get this 'hoopla' circulating
through the blogosphere.
4. Please try and do it as quickly as possible. The Christmas season will be
over before we know it and I'd like to get as many people involved as possible.


1. For me colored lights are a must. My sisters are into the white lights
but I think all the colors are the making of Christmas cheer.


2. I look forward each year to Christmas night. That's when I get to have
"Christmas" with my immediate family.


3. I have a nephew and a niece (if you can't tell by all the pictures). They
have brought sheer JOY to Christmas. Yes, this Aunt knows how to
spoil them stinking rotten!!


4. I love home made hot chocolate. As a matter of fact I plan to make some
tonight. It's finally gotten cold here again.


5. Our (sisters) stockings are the same ones that we've had since we were kids.
My mom still hangs them up on her fireplace every year. Now that the
family is growing she insists on everyone having one hung. Starting to run
out of room. I joke with her if I ever do get married she is going to have to
add on to the mantle.


6. The year before our Papaw past away he started reading the "Christmas
Story" from his Bible. Every year since that's become a tradition that
we do right before we open our gifts.


7. I am all about home made gifts. I love to pick the perfect gift for each person.
I normally do this through out the year.


8. I played Mary once in a Christmas play and my cousin was Joseph. I'm pretty
shy and they had to trick me into doing it. I was so nervous I chewed gum
the whole time and it was so obvious.


9. This year I celebrate my 6th anniversary of overcoming depression. Now that
may seem a little ouch but it's a huge victory that I love to celebrate. To
decorate and feel the "Christmas Spirit" that I call God's love is amazing.

10. My favorite Christmas songs are "I'll Be Home for Christmas" and the
theme to Charlie Brown Christmas.

11. We never had a live Christmas tree but Mamaw and Papaw had one
every year. I loved going to pick out the perfect tree. However, it took us
longer to pick out the perfect tree lot because Papaw would refuse to buy
one marked Xmas.

12. Drum roll please....My favorite part of Christmas is that even though in
all the hustle and bustle of the rush time just stands still. It is such an amazing
time to reflect on the year and all God's done in it.

Ok, I'm for sure tagging Stacey over at Given Grace and anyone else that would
like to join in on the fun! Merry Christmas....

Oops....

Ooooopps sorry guys.....I didn't even consider how this sounded.
I did not write "The Simple White Envelope". I don't even know the
author of it. It's always so late when I post that I didn't consider saying
Author Unknown. Sorry!

Christmas Blessings

This morning I discovered that the new magnetic sticker I bought for my

car was missing. It read "Keep Christ in Christmas". I was very upset about

realizing it and quickly blamed someone for taking it. I thought that's

why I don't desire to fool with people anymore. Mind you it's been a very

stressful season at work....so ready for a Christmas break. I worked with

the teens...feels like they never listen. Try so hard to tell others about

Him and they don't listen. What's the use of talking till you are blue in the

face. This was His response... Now you know how I feel. How He must

have felt when the time came for His life to end on that cross. Why should

I have to worry and fool with them. Praise you Jesus....you did it anyway.

Then on the radio they shared my favorite Christmas "lesson" and I would

like to pass it along to you.

SIMPLE WHITE ENVELOPE
It's just a small white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree.

No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches

of our tree for the past 10 years or so. It all began because my husband, Mike,

hated Christmas -- oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial

aspects of it -- the overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute

to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma -- the gifts

given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else. Knowing

he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties,

and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration

came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling

at the junior level at the school he attended. Shortly before Christmas, there

was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church.

These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be

the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in

their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the

match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without

headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a

luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended walloping

them. We took every weight class. And, as each of their boys got up from the

mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street

pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his

head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a

lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them."

Mike loved kids -- all kids -- and he knew them, having coached little league

football, baseball, and lacrosse. That's when the idea for his present came.

That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an

assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to

the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree,

the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from

me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in

succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition -- one year

sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game,

another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned

to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope

became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened

on Christmas morning, and our children, ignoring their new toys, would s

tand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the

tree to reveal its contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to more

practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't

end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to cancer. When Christmas

rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up.

But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree,

and in the morning it was joined by three more. Each of our children,

unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad.

The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our

grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching

as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit,

will always be with us. May we all remember Christ, who is the reason for the

season, and the true Christmas spirit this year and always.

When I arrived at work I pulled the box of Christmas cards I had just

purchased out of the bag and carried them in. See, I remembered the

Christmas Blessing promise I had made. Wrote the name of a special

family on the envelope and placed some money inside with a Christmas

wish and no signature. I had a "secret helper" deliver the card with care.

I chose this family as my Christmas Blessing this year because they are

a family with 2 sons who have Autism. They pour every dime into those

kids. I hope that gift will help with Christmas and maybe give them hope

that God is still there. If I have to talk till I'm blue in the face...I'll never stop

sharing about Him. May you take the time to bless others with a

"Simple White Envelope".

He Walks with Me...

Ok, it's 10:45 p.m. on the coldest night we've had yet. According to the

weather channel it's around 31 degrees. My Dad calls me...meet me out

I need you to hold the light while I work on deer feeder. Yes Ma'am I am

from the country. I pull my jeans on top of my pj bottoms, tee shirt,

sweatshirt, long sleeve corduroy shirt, my jacket and toboggan

(now Sharon there's you a picture...and I'm working on one...country girl

no digital camera). Anyway, much as my body really didn't want to go....

I witnessed the most beautiful thing I've seen in a while. Dad is

complaining because he can't get things put back together and at some

point I just look straight up into the sky.

In the crisp night air the black background of the sky and among the now

naked Oak tree branches were the brightest stars I've ever seen. It

looked like a Christmas tree with white lights all across the sky.

It reminded me of times in the Woods with my Dad. As scared and fearful

as I can be there has never been a time in those woods (yes even that

one time we were truly lost) that I've been afraid. I know that my Dad

knows those areas like the back of his hand. It hit me that's how I should

walk everyday of my life...not afraid because my Father...the creator of

those beautiful stars knows every area of my life...like the back of His hand.

Memory Verse Monday

Karen over at Karen's Ramblings has started a Memory Verse Monday!

The aim of "Memory Verse Monday" is to:
1. Memorise a passage (or passages) of scripture.
2. Share why you have chosen the verse or verses that you have.
3. Encourage one another with what God has been saying to you through this verse.
4. Share the ways in which you find remembering verses works for you.

This weekend I started Max Lucado's book "It's Not About Me". I've only

brushed the top of the second chapter but wow this is an amazing book!

A verse in the book caught my eye and I would like to make it the verse

of the week for me. In the first chapter he talks about the moon and it's

role. The moon does not give off light but merely reflects light from a

greater source. How much we are to be like the moon- that we are to be

a reflection to others of the greater source- our Savior. Lucado says,

"God does not exist to make a big deal out of us. We exist to make a big

deal out of Him. It's not about you. It's not about me. It's about Him."

Here's the verse-

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory,

are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing

glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

2 Corinthians 3:18

I want you Ladies to know that God has used you to reflect His love to

me in such a special way. May we never be content unless we are

positioned in such a way that God's glory radiates from us as we stand

in awe of Him.

The last few weeks and the last couple of months have really tested my faith. From changing churches, worring over some relationships, work and then my sister's health issues James 1:2-8 becomes a lifeline. When several things like this "stack up" in a row and my worry kicks in I know that satan is lurking around close. It's in those times when my mind gets overloaded and I can work up into a pretty good panic. See, I have suffered all my life with not a physical disease but an emotional one. There are four primary attatchment styles: Avoidant, Ambivalent, Disorganized and Secure. The one that has plagued me is the Ambivalent attatchment and I'd like to use the next couple of post to explain it and the others. I think it was an important thing for me to learn in school not just for myself but it helps me relate and deal with others I meet in "life".
God and I have walked a long path over the last five years and He has brought healing and renewing in this area of my life. Praise you Jesus...You alone! Even though, as in this week those same old fears and old beliefs try to creep back in. This is where the devil is lurking around in those weak areas of my mind. I'm able to recognize these times so much faster and the faster I do the less work there is to maintain victory. A friend reminded me today about how God will test us until we get that "A" He knows we can obtain.

This was the first verse of many that I started out equiping myself with....
"...Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be
accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door;
it desires to have you, but you must master it." Gen. 4:6&7.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today we give thanks for all the blessings in our lives...
Our lists could go on forever because His love for us is so
extravagant. He has blessed my life in such a special way
this year by allowing our paths to cross.
May you each have a day blessed with warmth and love!

Memory Verse Monday

Oh, how I wish He had lead me to a warm fuzzy verse for Thanksgiving week.

This is the scripture He gave me this weekend...OUCH.

"When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it..." Ecclesiastes 5:4

There are Seasons in our lives when He asks us to give up something to come

with Him. I have made the vow- the time has come to pass and I'm having

such a tough time letting go. I know that I will find a place of peace again and

that I will survive no matter what changes take place. However, until then I

do not like change and I do not like feeling this way.

The Message translation says this "When you tell God you'll do something,

do it-- now....Vow it, then do it."

I can't "delay" any longer it's starting to give satan that foothold. This week is

going to be all about getting my mindset focused on the truth of things and

fight satan until my vow is fulfilled.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart

Thank you all so much for praying for my sister! She went back to the

doctor on Monday and they did another hearing test on her. The results

from the second test came back saying that it appeared her hearing

level was improving. Yeah God!! The doctor told her either the medicine

worked or it was healing on it's own. Well, he was partly right...there

was healing but we know Who it came from! Know that you all are dear

to me....Much love...

Christmas Blessings

I have joined in with Mary and Sharon in the "Be a Blessing this Christmas". I love the Thanksgiving and Christmas Holidays! I love to give and the Holidays really stir that desire up in me. I knew this year I wanted to do something that tied in my work. There is this one particular family that goes to our church and they have two sons with Autism. They have spent every dime they have on those kids education and therapy. I have decided to give an anonymous gift card from Walmart to them for Christmas. I am joining my niece and nephew in making Christmas ornaments at the church. We are going Christmas Caroling and delivering our ornaments to the elderly in our community.

This time of the year reminds me so much of the story of Mary and Martha. I want to be a Mary but it is so hard in our fast paced world to not find ourselves living as Martha. We go through the day, week and year "spinning plates". In order to give we think...where the heck is an extra plate going to go, where do I find the time and the energy! Our love for Him and our desire to serve Him...to be like Him that's where it comes from.

May you not only be blessed this Season but may you bless others in His Name...

I'll do it anyway...

Within hours of posting my Monday Memory Verse I found out that my sister is having some health issues. Coincidence- I think not! God is teaching me to not just learn a verse but to know it and apply it. I have been thinking so much in the last few months about Praising Him
at all times. Especially in the dark- unknown times.
These last couple of days with my sister have totally drained me... as a friend of mine said today "I got nothin". I was sitting on the floor with the kids at work today thinking- I've got to find a fill me up, Lord verse to go with my memory verse. Then it hit me (a duh moment) my memory verse..."I will sing...". Praise! Praising Him fills you back up!
Finally got off work and put in my Newsong cd turned up the volume to "More to See". Here's
a few lines of it:
Your Mercies are new every morning-
Your Mercies are new everday-
Beautifully new everday-
Lord, please fill me up because I got nothin! I praise you Lord! I trust you! I may not feel like it but I'll do it anyway!

Prayer Praise....my job looks secure until the end of the school year in May!
Prayer Request....my sister (she's 33) found out her "stopped up" ear is actually
permanent hearing loss. There is only a 30% chance of it coming back. Dr. gave
her medicine and said if not better by next Monday then will do a MRI.
The don't know what is causing the loss of hearing. Thanks for your prayers in
advance. You are wonderful in the Sisterhood!

Memory Verse Monday

Karen over at Karen's Ramblings has started a Memory Verse Monday!

This is something that's been on my heart so I've decided to join in.

The aim of "Memory Verse Monday" is to:

1. Memorise a passage (or passages) of scripture.

2. Share why you have chosen the verse or verses that you have.

3. Encourage one another with what God has been saying to you through this verse.

4. Share the ways in which you find remembering verses works for you.

Here's my scripture:

Psalm 13

Ps 13:1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
Ps 13:2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Ps 13:3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
Ps 13:4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
Ps 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
Ps 13:6 I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.

I am going to memorize the last two verses of this chapter. There are a couple of areas in my life that God has been asking me to trust Him in. I feel like I am constantly asking the same question as David "How long, O LORD".....how long, Lord do I have to wait ? Weither it be a life of singleness, uncertian career path or a ministry on hold....even in the darkness I will choose to praise you! "I will trust in your unfailing love.....I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me".

Fall Family Fun!!

Cool this looks like fun...

Emmy says- "no thanks
that's groooossss"

But she thought a spoon

would be safe...

The finished product!

(as you can see by the

kids clothes- it's still

warm around here)

Our First Annual

Hot Dog Roast...





(my brother-in-law,

the kidos, my Dad,

one of my sisters &

my Mom)

Prayer Request

Hey Ladies...this is going to be a quick post for tonight....it's late.
I have a huge burden on my heart that I'd like to share. Those of
you who have read some of my posts know that I LOVE my job!
Well, I found out today that our little school may be closing soon.
I don't know if it will be by the end of the year 2007 or the end of
our school year in May. I'm not asking you to pray for me (but I
would be grateful for them) but for the kids... The school I work at
is the only kind in our state and it offers The best programs available
to these kids.
Father, thank you for who you are and for creating each of us with a
special gift. May we always use what you have given us to bring you
and you alone glory. God you have given me such a burning passion
for these kids. Please continue to use me in this field! I lift up the families
of those with special needs....they are so tired physically, mentally,
emotionally and financially. Please continue to be their strength and
hope. I thank you and praise you for all you've done and all that you
are going to do.....

Staying focused

When I stop and look at how far God and I have come in the last five years it just blows me away. There was a time of reparenting but the toughest part was erasing the thirty years of negativity that I had lived in. It will always be a stuggle but I know it will always keep me focused on and in His Word. I have these statements typed and hanging on my wall and thought I would pass them along....

~ Don't lose confidence in God's goodness
~ Be strong
~ Do not lose hope
~ Let God be your Shield and help
~ Be patient
~ Continue to cry out to God
~ Cling to His Word
~ Watch for His answers
~ Trust in His unfailing Love

~ Lord, I praise you for...
~ Help me to do your will by...
~ Lord, I need...
~ Please forgive me for...
~ Help me to forgive...
~ I am struggling with...
~ Please help me stand firm.
For you alone are Lord and I give you
all the glory. Amen.

Wrestling with God

We finished up the "Patriarchs" tonight....wow! The last 10 weeks flew by but I've grown so much. Normally I'm so tired physically and mentally on Tuesday nights that I couldn't think of posting but
tonight I'm still reeling. There are so many amazing things that I learned that I'd be here all night talking
and remebering. The ladies in our group are meeting next week to have a simple fellowship (they are Baptist so yes there will be food involved :) and we were given one last assignment and that was to be ready to tell which "moment" stands out or touched us the most. Without hesitation mine came to mind.
It was when Jacob wrestled with God. There have been a few times in my life... 3 to be exact... that I have wrestled with God. May it be in a decision, an act of obedience or a life changing moment those where times that I feel I wrestled with Him.
The first time was when I gave my life to Him. Even though I was born and raised in church I didn't give my heart to Him until I was 18. However it was when He asked my to give Him my life that I found myself wrestling. I was in an accident when I was 21 and it almost took my life and I knew it because I told Him if He would let me live I'd do anything He asked of me. January 10, 1991 some time around 6:30 p.m. I gave Him my life and in return He gave me another... He told me in that moment that I had a purpose.
The next time I wrestled with Him was at the begining of 2000. That was when I decided to give in and go back to school. He provided for me in so many ways- financially and physically. Times I would leave church and money had been stuck in my Bible cover to (one of my favorites and this one still makes me cry) my Dad saying (at age 30) for the first time in my life that he was proud of me. My Dad is a very quiet cut and dry fellow so to look up in the stadium seats and see him waving his arms in a crazy celebration were priceless! The most satisfying one of all God showed me a career path that I'd fall passionate about. Our Pastor prayed with me at an alter when I was still looking for a job after graduation-
and I'll never forget it. He prayed that God would give me a job beyond my wildest dreams- something that I could never dream up of on my own. Oh and did He ever fulfill that prayer!
The other thing that I wrestled with Him over was letting go of something that hindered me and had all my life. Depression. It of course wasn't something that I desired to hang on to but I didn't know how to let go. I had layed that thing down in prayer so many times and still walked away with it- wearing it like an old garment that was so comfortable you couldn't dare part with it. I was so tired and worn down that one way or the other I knew I couldn't handle it anymore. It was at a youth camp that I was praying on my face... and God whispered in my ear so plain...Ok, if you have finally had enough- give it to me this time and you'll never have to lay it down again because I'll heal you. It took Him and me 5 years (and still working on some areas) to reprogram all the lies and beliefs that I had in my head. There was also I time in the end I had to reparent myself and that was the most healing part of all. I never thought 6 or 7 years ago that I would ever feel alive but Praise Jesus name a miracle occurred.
Jacob wouldn't let go until he received a blessing....let's not give up or let go without the blessing that God so much desires to give us.

To Blog or not to Blog

Well, Ladies I've thought long and hard about... to blog or not to blog. =)
My thoughts are what would I have to offer. I'm not a writer, a singer or
even a SAHM (whom I admire tremendously) those things were not my gifts.
My gift I believe is an encourager so that's what I've decided to use my blog
time for.

This is an article I read this week in my Christian Singles devotion:

As Christians, we talk about the "body of Christ." And we know what it means. The body is people who lead others to the Lord. It is a casserole delivered to a grieving family. It's the fervent prayers of an elder when we are sick. The body is also a grandmother's hands opening the Bible for young ones.For the most part, it's a wonderful body, and we needn't ask for anything different. Yet, as the world changes, so does the body's manifestation. Take now, for instance. In the technology realm, a new kind of body is on the move. It does many of the same things as the body we're used to, yet we find it with a click and a keystroke.This new body, part of a major revolution, is the body blogged.Blogging is a phenomenon that's gaining steam at an amazing rate. According to Technorati, an Internet blog tracker, 120,000 new blogs are created every day. And according to some sources, as many as 70 million blogs exist at this moment.A variant of the word weblog, a blog (as defined by Dictionary.com) is "an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page." Formerly considered the exclusive haunt of hotheaded ideologues, gabby teens, and video game fanatics, blogging now includes all kinds and ages. Everyone from amateur birdwatchers to professional journalists maintain blogs. The medium is especially attractive to communities of people who share a passion for a particular subject (e.g., politics or sci-fi movies) or avocation (e.g., doll collecting or motorcycle riding). Hence, the blogosphere's role as a community magnet for followers of Christ.

I mainly set up my blog account so I could comment on the LPM blog. A friend at work really "insisted" I get on Myspace to just meet others. I'm not into all that so agreed I'd set up my blog. I never dreamed what I would find in this "community". Yes, most of the time I'm a lurker that drops a comment here and there. However, I have been so blessed by the people, stories and personal devotions about life. I have found a wonderful source of accountability, encouragement and much to my surprise....friendship. Blogging most of all is a place of common ground and that is our love for our Christ and our passionate desire to seek Him more. You ladies that stop by and that I come across....you have touched me deeply.

On a lighter note/post~ We had fun last weekend at the park!

B-man and

his Aunt M~

I know I'm not going to finish this post this morning. However, I had to start it now...because the emotions that are going on in my heart right now or so overwhelming. I say that with tears interrupting my vision but not yet streaming down. This morning at church we have our Steeple Dedication. What I have seen God do in this little church's life and at what all He's done in my life while there is so sweet and amazing. As we celebrate this wonderful day I am the only one who knows that this will be my last "official" day there. Here come the tears again....this is going to end up being an ugly cry before the days over. I am so happy- no joyful and saddened all at the same time. I have lived my life for the last thirty years loving others from a distance and not allowing myself to feel loved by them at all. Until I met this wonderful Christian women. She became a mentor and friend and from her I met her

church family. This may bring the ugly cry on.....(soft smile) I fell deeply in love with these people and I let them wrap me up in God's love. They have loved on me and me on them in the sense that in our hearts we are family.


Lord, thank you for such a wonderful day. May I, no matter where I go or what I do, have a servants heart for you and those around me.

In a couple of Sundays I plan to share with our (small) Sunday night crowd how much they mean to me and what God has planned for me. I've been asking God to reveal a scripture to me and He did so the otherday while driving to work. Nehemiah chapters one and two are what He brought to my mind.
Nehemiah was saddened by the condition and state of the people- so he wept and prayed. As I did for my home church. I didn't have to hear second hand about the destruction... I was there to witness it. For years I've prayed the prayer of this servant's heart. When he went before the King the King asked, "Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of the heart." I've carried that sadness of the heart for so long it's
time to replace it with the joy of rebuilding. I know that as the same with Nehemiah- going back things aren't just going to fall in place and change- it's going to take time, prayer and work.Satan's already been trying to pull me down for the last couple weeks. It's time to mend
some broken walls and rebuild some burned gates.

Ladies, I'd like to tell you about my two church families.

My original "home church" I attended for the first thirty years

of my life. I was born and raised in that little church. When

I was a freshman in high school the church went through a

rough church split... just trust me it was bad. That was well

over twenty years now and that place is still suffering from

that time. It was just like watching a blooming flower wilt

and die right before your eyes. Somewhere around eight or

nine years ago I remember sitting with my cousin talking of

how I desired and refused to give up hope in seeing the place

revived and pushed forward. This was a hard core Southern

Baptist church. In the year 2000 I met some new friends from

where I was working and was invited to attend a Ladies Retreat

with them. Shortly after ended up attending there for the last

seven years.

I'll start of the story line of my "second church" with this

picture.

This is a photo of the long awaited steeple at New Life Church.

So my second "church family" was not run across by accident.

It became the place God would use to stretch, teach, grow and

most important heal me from some things in my past. While

at the new church I never gave up my prayers for my "church

back home".

Ladies, I have to share I am seeing God in this present season

begin to answer the prayers I've prayed for my first church

home. It's so amazing to see how He is unfolding this. The

cousin I mentioned earlier....yeah, he's the church's new pastor!!

Meanwhile, for the last year God has gently been preparing my

heart to return back home.

Now, my heart has been crying inside at the thought of leaving

where I am now. I love this place and these people that are like

family. My decision was made last Sunday to follow Him no

matter the cost.... and with that decision came instant peace!

I told my mentor (at the present church) and her words to me

I'll never forget. She trust what ever I do because she knows

that I seek to follow God's will for my life. That is huge to

hear someone say that about your life and walk in faith.

The church back home is going through an season of healing

after a twenty three year old battle. It is at the edge of change

waiting to fly.

Thank you God for this answered prayer. May you continue

to heal and restore. May we once again be a city on a hill that

cannot be hidden. May this lampstands light shine once again.

I love you. Amen.

Well, I wanted to give you an update on a prayer request. The new
student that we've been waiting on was finally able to come today.
However, it was so bad that he couldn't even stay for the full two hours
he was scheduled to stay. He was trying to escape from the building
and coming after the workers. My boss couldn't believe that he wouldn't
respond to a positive environment as opposed to the harsh (almost
abusive) one he was in. My thoughts were that it's all he's ever known...to
him that was his "love" or bond. He was offensive to our showing him a
caring behavior.
All day my heart has been so heavy for not just this boy but to a WORLD
of hurting teens. They don't even have to be a "problem" child to feel this
way. Abandoned- neglected- abused- victims. I LOVE teens they have
always been so near to my heart. I have worked through church with them
for years. I have always heard this saying that by the time they are teens
that it's like pouring concrete and it's hardened and so hard after that to
change. Things like this just fuel a flame in me- Thank you Jesus. They/We
have been fed so many lies by satan that we don't even know how bad it is.
I am committing this week to pray for our teens. Will you join me?
God Bless~

A fellow blogging Siesta and friend posted along the same lines today as I'm going to try and venture. It's one of those times where the same message keeps appearing. God is trying to drive a point across to me and I'm trying so hard to listen. At church our Ladies group this week reached the midway mark in the "Patriarchs". This study has brought me to a place that I'll never stop pursuing His Word. The very first week of study I was captivated by two words-- Your Name. Our culture today seems so consumed in making a name for ourselves. Teenagers are so desperate for this in wanting somewhere to be accepted. To have a certian brand, a certian style, a certian group, be in a certian place to be known as a certian someone. Adults are no better at this.
The very next week after Bible study began I was asked to speak to the Youth at our church. I began to search every concordance and commentary I had on the word- name. For the first time I just stood in awe at the glory of His name. I've known about Him and heard about Him all my life but never been consumed by the majesty of His name. I have never been on my face before like this past month. To give up the name we have desired for ourselves and surrender to instead for our identity in His name. I would like to share a short devotion I read today. It is from a book called "God Calling".

No Other Name
My name is the Power that turns evil aside,
that summons all good to your aid. Spirits
of evil flee at the sound of "Jesus". Spoken
in fear, in weakness, in sorrow, in pain, it is
an appeal I never fail to answer. "Jesus"
Use My Name often. Think of the unending
call of "Mother" made by her children. To
help, to care, to decide, to appeal, "Mother."
Use My Name in that same way- simply,
naturally, forcefully. "Jesus"......

Peace in Him

Do you remember where you were six

years ago? I vividly remember the day

well. It was my very first semester back

in college. I was sitting in an English

class when this young fellow came in

out of breath. He was telling us that the

Twin Towers had been hit by a plane.

All I can remeber thinking was- wow. I had

no idea of course the horror of what was

going on until I saw the t.v. I could not believe my eyes-- over and

over we saw it and I still couldn't believe my eyes.

It was so surreal like it was happening somewhere else.

American flags everywhere. Prayers

being prayed everywhere. American's for a fleeting season

united as one and had returned to Him in prayer. Just to think

what our Nation would be like if we turned our United focus

back on Him...

A Life that Matters

I have a prayer request....
We have a new student starting next Monday. He is a twelve year old autistic boy. He is originally from around New Orleans and for the last five or six years been tossed around in foster homes. He is right now in a psychiatric ward and he has busted out windows there. We are a small school and only one worker has had experience with this type of aggressive behavior. Please pray for safety but most of all pray for this young boy. I don't know to the extent of what they "realize" but I do believe they know who they can feel safe with and trust. For once in his life-- just like any "regular" boy his age I would like him to
"experience" that in however in his life he can. I want to be God's hands in this.
On that note I have to share this... Over the summer we had a student that is nonverbal and we worked with him on sign language. It was like he could do it but only if he wanted to. I wanted so bad for him to "get it" because I knew it would change his life forever. It was like two steps forward and one step back. One day I was so frustrated I had his hands trying to get him to form a "word" and I just in the moment stopped and prayed over him. I promise as surely as God answers prayers from that day forward he was showing out with his signing!!
How so is that like us.... How many times God must think Melanie, I want so bad for you to "get it" because it will change your life forever! Ladies, let's keep going deeper with Him I want us to "get it". I'm tired of satan trying to knock us that step back.

Remaining Faithful

I joined a wonderful group of ladies for my first group Bible Study. We are three weeks into the "Patriarches". Even though I knew that Abraham and Sarah had Isaac after their childbearing years...I still didn't realize how long of a wait they had. Abraham's journey was much like our own- with it's twists and turns. The times we take the leap and step out on faith, times we laugh in doubt- others in sheer joy and there are the times we have to...wait. In a devotion I read today the question was asked "How are you at waiting on God?" When I read this I sat straight up on the edge of my seat anxious for what God was fixing to say to me.

I have always related life as to a puzzle. I don't know maybe the outer pieces are our salvation and Christian standards. Then God has all the other pieces set off to the side and in His timing He hands us a piece. We set that piece into place and then.....wait on the next one to be revealed. I know there are things to do in the waiting period- a preparing and training stage.

Surley there must have been those times in Abraham and Sarah's walk when it looked like the waiting period was about to end and the promise be fulfilled. I know God's timing is perfect and never late. However, the waiting season feels never ending in my life. Waiting to be a wife, waiting to be a mother, waiting for His calling in my life to be revealed. So, how am I at waiting...this week not very good!


I read this tonight in my Matthew Henry Commentary:

"No word of God shall fall to the ground; for he is faithful that has promised, and God's faithfulness is the stay and support of his people's faith...God is always punctual to his time; though his promised mercies come not at the time we set, they will certainly come at the time he sets, and that is the best time".


What are your thoughts on the question "How are you at waiting on God?"

My sweet Siesta, Sharon at Sit With Me Awhile, has just given me my first award! I thought some this week about easing out of Blog Land but this unexpected treat has encouraged me to stay. This "place" is a source of encouragement, support and accountability that I know personally I need.

About this award:

"This award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you've been awarded please pass it on to others who you feel are deserving of this award."

I would like to pass this award on to a new found Siesta~ Stacey at What is to Come. Stacey shares a huge passion for Special Needs Ministry for His kids with me. Please be in prayer with us about this ministry. I feel it is the next area of ministry that is going to need a voice in our churches. Keep a look out for these families...they need our prayers, love and support. I was just helping last week with VBS and along with our four Autistic kids- another two showed up "out of the blue" (I think not... God is good and supplies a need).

Much love...

If you have read my profile you know that I work with kids with Autism.



I'm going to try and paint a picture of this young girl that came into our clinic. I love these kids so I'm in no way trying to give out something to be taken negative here. I'm just going to give you a visual for illustration purpose. In the world of special needs children we call them "hoarders". They go around collecting things and placing them in their own special places. The Webster's definition for hoarding is "hidden accumulation".


She is twelve years old and taller than me. She came in carrying three Walmart bags (one containing unwrapped candy, another a collection of movies and the last one miscellaneous items). Along with a stack of empty candy wrappers, worn out calendar pages, a couple of stuffed animals she's had since a small child and a collection of necklaces, rings and bracletes.

That night as I was laying in bed I found myself thinking of this young girl. My heart and prayers were going up to the Lord for her and her family. I couldn't imagine what this poor mom must be going through. Then God revealed something to me and tears began to stream down my face. I just cried my eyes out to God in thanks and praise to Him. That young girl was a reminder of who.....Praise Jesus of who I USED to be.

Those bags I carried around were full of "junk" too. They slowed me down but not in minutes like with her mom but for me it was in years. Years of living in fear, regret, hurts and insecurity. The worn out calendar pages of hers were my wasted days, months and years that have passed by. I thought I was doing a good job of "hoarding" all the things I had collected over the years. My little hidden accumulation was tucked behind the shyness and good little Christian girl I was. We all know that being around a person plagued with negativity is not a person hidding their junk.

Over the last five years God and I have been peeling layers. He alone has brought a healing and a peace into my life that I never thought I would experience. I never thought there would be a day in my life that I would wake up or go to bed with joy and hope....now it's an everyday thing. I have to fight satan every minute of the day for it but he's not stealing it again without a fight. I've learned to fight him back with God's Word- my Sword. It took five long years to take all the negative planted in my life to be plowed up and replanted with God's truth and plans for my life. Learned helplessness and the self fulfilling prophecy are the pits I dwelled in and depression is what I decorated that pit with. With God and persistence you can overcome.
May we continue to "fight the good fight...."

"Lost in His love..."

Ladies, I just got home from church tonight. I'll never be able to put these
kind of moments into words~ so I'll just say it plain and simple.

There was just something different and special about this normal day.

I have spent many moments today closing my eyes and finding myself

facedown at the foot of the cross. It's like being at a youth camp with

a couple hundred teens and the Holy Spirit just raining down all over

the place.

"The trumpeters and singers joined in unison, as with one voice, to

give praise and thanks to the LORD. Accompanied by trumpets,

cymbals and other instruments, they raised their voices in praise to

the LORD and sang: He is good; and his love endures forever."
Then the temple of the LORD was filled with a cloud, and the priests

could not perform their service because of the cloud, for the glory of the

LORD filled the temple of God."
2 Chronicles 5:13,14

Tonight this temple of God was filled with the glory of the Lord!
I have fallen head over heals deeper in love with Him.
Forever...Lost in His love

Cake please!!!!!

We could hardly make it through the meal with all the pleads for cake. I don't know about you but I think they enjoyed it!! When I found out four years ago that my nephew's due date was in July- I held out all hopes of him sharing my birthday. Despite my wishes the doctor decided to wait two days later :( Probably for the best I bug him to death already over our special days being so close :) My nephew and neice are my world and I hope you enjoy the photos...

Last week my corner of the world was full of events. It started off when a sweet lady in our community passed away. She was one of those ladies you remember being there as you grew up in church. Alzheimer's robbed her of the last ten years of her life. It was very fitting that she passed away on the 4th of July- while we spent the day celebrating our freedom... so did she. I'll never forget a story that was told about her last days- it has forever marked me. They said that when you first walked into her room it sounded like she was talking to herself. However, as you would listen you would soon realize that she was praying. The comment was made "she forgot her own name but she never forgot His". That God could reach within us and place something so deep within that not even Alzheimer's can take away....wow how amazing is that!!

Also, at her funeral they sang "Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine" and it was like for the first time I actually heard the words of that song. "This is my story, this is my song praising my Savior all the day long" and part of the last verse "filled with his goodness, lost in his love". What a perfect time for those words to hit home for me than the week of my birthday. I have been dreading yet another birthday. However, I decided to embrace the day and not look at age or what my life is "lacking" and look at instead what is My Story.....I desire this new year to be all about Him. To know Him more, to serve Him more and to find myself lost in His love.

We are all a living Story and someone is reading it.... let's rest in assurance that our Author has the best story line for us and let's allow Him the freedom to write it.

In His Love,
Melanie

4:00 a.m. musings with the Father

“But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.”
Gen. 19:26
It was in looking back that Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt. Why a pillar of salt?
Why not a pillar of stone or marble? I believe it's a symbolic reminder for us. Salt
exposed to certain elements causes it to lose it's saltiness.
She looked back in disobedience and turned to salt. Sin causes us to lose our saltiness.
Through our sin we expose ourselves to the elements of the world. The elements ruin the
salts flavor. Our lives exposed to sin hinders our relationship with Christ and our witness
to others- our flavor.
She looked back- boy, I could just stop there. In my life looking back over my shoulder exposes me to the elements of unbelief. Each time I look back and see those negative flashes from the past another piece of me became as a pillar of salt. Hardening areas of disappointment and bitterness, causing the saltiness of my faith to lose it's flavor. If we
continue to keep looking back over our shoulders by living in sin, disobedience and in the
past, a pillar of salt we will become. A pillar of salt, standing out in the elements losing it's saltiness, it's purpose and it's usefulness.
Lot and his family were living among the “elements”. How close are we allowing ourselves to live to the “elements” of this world? How long are we going to continue looking behind us? Don't tarry there, let's fix our eyes on Him then run and not look back.