a moment in time...

Two friends
Two prayer warriors
With clasped hands tight in urgency
So tight that the feel of heartbeats are felt
Heartbeats of both physical and spiritual
Two hearts crying out for Him
One God Who bends down to hear
Two hearts crying out for Him
One God bends down and touches
Two hearts that are crying out to Him
In urgency they pray
In urgency He responds
m.c.

If you read my last post you'll know that last weekend was a
rough one for me. Like I said in that last post...the thing going
on last weekend is a thing that God has left in my life to remind
me that it's Him I need. Not that we don't need each other
because we do! That's the way God created us. I've been
praying about posting this particular post....some heart to heart
talks require energy. There are just somethings like this that
drain you to walk back through. That's why I decided to take
some time off from blogging to regain some energy from last
weekend. Satan is crazy if he thinks I'm going to forget God
and I already one this thing!!!
I'd like to share first the devotion that God prepared for me
to receive on Monday...yeah the day after I decided to stand
firm in the victory already won....


Please Don't Leave!
Marybeth Whalen

"Do not leave here, I pray You, until I return to You and bring my offering and set it before You. And He said, I will wait until you return."
Judges 6:18 (AMP)

Devotion:
My two year-old daughter has learned a new phrase that tugs at my heart. Whether I am going on a date with my husband, or walking out of the room after putting her to bed, or just running quickly to the library to return books, I hear the same thing: "Mommy, don't leave me!" As she has gotten older and more aware of both my presence and my absence, she is much quicker to express the desperate feeling she experiences when I am not with her. She responds with a heartfelt cry--one that is not unique to a two year-old. Whether we are saying it to our spouse, our children, or our friends, we all know that desperate feeling of not wanting to be left.

It is no different in our walk with God. In the story of Gideon, we see him wrestling with many issues that we wrestle with today. Did God really ask me to do that? Am I capable? Am I worthy? Do I have what it takes? And we see him reacting as I think many of us do. We look to God in the midst of our wrestling and say, just like my two year-old, "Don't leave me while I sort this out!"

The more we walk with Him, the more aware we become of the benefits of resting in His presence. We know what we receive from Him and we crave more. We have felt the warmth of His embrace and we want more time in His lap. We know the power only He can infuse us with and we want to stay connected to that. And yet, as we scurry about in our busy lives, we are likely to look over and accuse Him of leaving us--when really it is the other way around.

I love God's response to Gideon as he desperately cries out for Him not to leave. Very lovingly and patiently God replies, "I'll be right here." I see God saying the same thing to all of us today. As you race to pick up your child at school, you call out over your shoulder, "Don't leave me!" As you rush off to work, your mind filled with the things you need to do, you say to Him, "Please don't leave God!" As you carry out the things He has called you to, needing Him more than ever, He lovingly replies, "Go do what you need to do, and I will be right here." The New American Standard version of this verse says, "I will remain until you return." He is a God who remains.

Gideon's story comforts me not because he went on to fight a victorious battle and become a hero in Israel. Gideon's story comforts me because he knew he needed the Lord and he understood his profound need for God's presence. He experienced an abiding relationship with God that became his foundation and his fortress. I love knowing that when I desperately call out, "Don't leave me!" He will lovingly reply, "I'm not going anywhere." Every time.

I have read the story of Gideon many times...but never caught verse 18.
Each of us has a very unique personality...it's like the color of His creation.
The Psychology major in me wants to tell you about each different one
but we would be here awhile. I think the understanding though of the
different personalities would help us all in our reactions and resposes to
another. Anyway, let's get back to Gideon...;)
The title of this devotion just says it all "Please Don't Leave!"
It just plays across that chord in my heart that plays deep urgency.
The thing God and I walked through was a deep seeded fear of
abandonment. I've always asked and wondered...why this was the
thing I had to walk through. So it was and so I...now...am.
See my Mom passed down to me the thing that was passed down
to her from her mom. A heavy spirit of depression. Not even as
a child do I remember not wearing it. I would go through a whole
school day and not speak a single word...to anyone. Not a teacher
or another student. I had a teacher in the 1st grade that would
get me by the shoulders and literally shake me to answer her.
I was when I became an older teen that I began to pray about this
thing that at first I called shyness. The battle got bad as I entered
my early 20's. If it had not been for my mustard seed size faith
in a mighty God that claimed He loved me I'd never made those
teenage and ealy adult years. It was when I turned 30 that I'd
had all I could handle. That's when the facedown prayers began.
God and I walked hand in hand through many self-help books and
counseling sessions....and we made it.
There were two life changing realizations that came. One was
when I was finally able to forgive my Mom....forgivenss only spoken
in the heart. I tried forgiving her over and over in my heart but it
never came so I could let go. Until I understood the fact that she
couldn't be the "mother" because all she was able to do each day
was keep her head above the water. When I heard God speak that
to my heart...I let go and forgave. And a change began to enter my
life for the first time.
The other thing that happened was a very vivid picture God painted
in my mind oneday. I could see it as clear as a picture I had taken
with my own camera. I saw this 7 or 8 year old girl with long brown
hair that almost touched her waist. She was behind a waist high wall
bent down in the "tornado drill" position. I knew this little girl...she
was me. When that little girl would come home from school some
days her mom would either have her bag backed or talk about doing
it and claim when daddy came home she was leaving. How was that
little girl to know that that day would actually never come. To me it
seemed to be a day that would come it would happen. As God showed
me that little girl....He let me know that I was taking care of everyone...
Mom, sisters and keeping the peace....but that I had forgotten to take
care of me. I was in my late 20's with no friends...in my early 30's with
no family of my own. He helped me start the long journey of opening
up and allowing people to come into my life and love on me. I
described it someone last weekend as this...someone's house burns to
the ground and they build a new one. Then when it's time to move in
they don't decorate it because they are afraid of losing everything
again. There is such a fear isn't it of opening up, investing and trusting
in another.
There is One though that has assured us in His Word that He will never
change and never leave us. I'm so grateful for being brought up in the
church. I never worried about God leaving. I often worry about my
wondering away....if anyone moves it's us.

I pray that if there is something that you and God have walked
through and gained victory over that you/we want allow satan to
shake that knowledge. I pray that if there is something you and
God need to walk through to gain victory over-that you find the
courage and strength to.

Thanks for listening...

In my last post I quoted the third line of the old hymn
Rescue the Perishing. That line was brought to my
attention in a sermon our pastor gave a couple of weeks
ago. I'd like to share some of it with you...


"On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the
synagogues, and a woman was there who had been
crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent
over and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus
saw her, he called forward and said to her, "Women
you are set free from your infirmity." Then he put
his hands on her, and immediately she straightened
up and praised God." Luke 13:10-13


The woman had a hurt in her life...a burden, problem
a load. There was a spirit of weakness that was
emotional in nature. Satan had used this weakness
and bound her. She was bound to the point she bent
over and couldn't straighten up. Just like us satan
bends us lower and lower until just as she we reach
the point we are unable to look up and see the blue
sky, a sunset or the eyes of others. When you are in
this shape you can't even see all the wonderful things
He has for you. This state can bring about bitterness,
depression and negativity. She couldn't straighten up,
I can imagine like some of us she had tried so many
times. She had hope though because...it was the
Sabbath day and Jesus was there! She knew He
could meet her need. He touches broken people...
Allow Jesus to touch the broken areas of your life.


Girls, through that whole sermon I was saying in my
heart...Thank You Jesus...Thank You Jesus!!
See I was hearing the story of my life echoing back
through this woman's story. That woman was me
over five years ago. I was in my second year back
in college. At the age of 31 when God and I began
this journey of healing. I want to share with you
how the beginning stage of the journey started. I
knew that I was cycling back through another round.
I knew this time that I couldn't handle another one.
I began to beg and pray at the foot of the church
alter and at the foot of my bed for God to please help
me. The "Faithful Summer" at youth camp...He told
me if I would lay it down this time we would walk it
out. And we did...five long years but we did it.
However, this past weekend satan tried to attack that
area of weakness in my life again. Even though God
and I overcame many things in my life, I think this
area of my life will be the "thorn in my flesh" that
He will leave to remind me that it's Him that I must
depend on.
There were seasons in my life I thought I would
never overcome...but then there was an eye opening
Sabbath day where Jesus came and touch me and
hope became a reality.

I think this past weekend was a wake up for me and
I realized that God is wanting to spend some time
with me...and I've been craving Him too. So if I'm
quiet for the next few days...I'm just going to be
hanging out with my Jesus! I'll be praying for you
while I'm there.....Love you Girls!!!!!

Do you guys remember the Hymn "Rescue the Perishing"?
I never noticed the third line until this week....

"Down in the human heart, Crush'd by the tempter,
Feelings lie buried that grace can restore;
Touch'd by a loving heart, Waken'd by kindness,
Chords that are broken will vibrate once more.
Rescue the perishing, Care for the dying;
Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save."

"Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.
Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake
of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the
trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.
Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me,
Oh LORD, the God of truth....You have not handed
me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a
spacious place." Ps 31:2-8

All I can say and think tonight is God's Glory!!

Isn't He so amazing!!! I was sharing this with a friend tonight...

I've been so hungry to SEE Him. He is showing up BIG right now

in front of my eyes. My physical eyes and my Spiritual eyes!

Nothing in my circumstances have changed but my spirit is moving

back where it should have never moved from...at His feet, by His side,

behind the shield of Faith...

There is nothing like a fresh rain of Him after a loooong dry spell...is it?!

My friends and Sisters in Faith....I pray He is raining down on you tonight too!

satan you're the Biggest Loser...

I just finished watching the beginning episode of the
Biggest Loser. I love this show because it's so
motivating. I have to say that right now I'm loving
on the Red Team because they are parents with a
son with Autism and the Brown Team they are
from the home state! As I watched it tonight I had
these huge lumps in my throat. When I watch a
sad movie my throat is killing me at the end because
when I cry it's an ugly cry. When that wife on the
Orange Team started pushing her husband to keep
going and not to quit....yeah....I lost it! The ugly
cry was on. It just hit me that even though they
were pushing through the physical realm...I am
pushing through the Spiritual realm!! We all are.
We look around and see the shape we are in and
think how in the world did I get here?! If only I
hadn't gotten so lazy and off focus. If I had just
trusted Him and kept closer to Him I wouldn't
have strayed to this.
As I mentioned in my last post- satan has so been
trying to pull me back to a place God and I have
pulled me out of. Satan is crazy if he thinks I'm
going back there again! I think the biggest thing
that has helped me is the accountability I have
found here in Blogland. I know that you Girls are
going to help pray me through things...as I intend
to continue doing for you. There are some of you
that call me out on things. We need each other.
Not in a "needy" clingy unhealthy way. We need
prayer partners, cheerleaders, party people to do
victory dances with, we need to hold up each others
arms when we grow weary and we need to hold
each others feet to the fire in commitments we've
made.
So here's to being on the same Team...Go Team Go!!

YIKES!! I just realized it's been a week since my last post!!
Well, let's see....We've been working on our Fall Festival at
church, we started our Daniel Bible Study and I also picked up
studying for the GRE. So....test...ugh....Fall Fest...work....ahh
Bible study...ding ding we have a winner. Ok, let's talk about
Bible study...may I just say my toes have already been stepped
on?!?? That's okay though because it's a good thang! I feel like
some of the fog has become clear. In other words in an area of
real confusion God has given me MAJOR insight.
In our study the first question got me. Mrs. Moore said, "We
also have an enemy who wants to return us to places God
called us to leave." She also talked about how satan didn't
want to just set us back, that he wanted to take us all the
way back. To make it look like we had made no progress.
Well, I think that my restlessness in my job has been doing
just that for me. After graduation I thought things would
neatly fall into place....boy was that far from what happened.
He's been trying to tell me for two years that it's all in His
time. I know I know.... There have just been a lot of things
going on at work and it's already a stressful job in itself.
There have just been times were it did seem like there
was no progress. Oh, but there has been!! I have a
couple of other thoughts I'd like to share through the
week....I wish I had the time now and all the thoughts
processed to share.
If you are in a cloud of fog...I pray that He will soon make
things clear. In the meantime don't let satan use the
foggy times to make you think there's no progress
being made. As a friend of my tells me often
"Trust what is True". Keep believing...Keep walking.

Little treasures...

I love photography! I haven't picked my camera up in months. So,
last Sat. I decided to carry it with me when I went out the door. I
thought I'd share with you one of my finds....

Where's your focus?

God's timing was in play for my reading of My Utmost for His Highest today.
I'll share the reading and then explain a little of why....

September 6th.
DIFFUSIVENESS OF LIFE
"Rivers of living water." John 7:38
A river touches places of which its source knows nothing, and Jesus says if we have received of His fulness, however small the visible measure of our lives, out of us will flow the rivers that will bless to the uttermost parts of the earth. We have nothing to do with the outflow - "This is the work of God that ye believe. . . ." God rarely allows a soul to see how great a blessing he is.
A river is victoriously persistent, it overcomes all barriers. For a while it goes steadily on its course, then it comes to an obstacle and for a while it is baulked, but it soon makes a pathway round the obstacle. Or a river will drop out of sight for miles, and presently emerge again broader and grander than ever. You can see God using some lives, but into your life an obstacle has come and you do not seem to be of any use. Keep paying attention to the Source, and God will either take you round the obstacle or remove it. The river of the Spirit of God overcomes all obstacles. Never get your eyes on the obstacle or on the difficulty. The obstacle is a matter of indifference to the river which will flow steadily through you if you remember to keep right at the Source. Never allow anything to come between yourself and Jesus Christ, no emotion, or experience; nothing must keep you from the one great sovereign Source.
Think of the healing and far-flung rivers nursing themselves in our souls! God has been opening up marvellous truths to our minds, and every point He has opened up is an indication of the wider power of the river He will flow through us. If you believe in Jesus, you will find that God has nourished in you mighty torrents of blessing for others.

I have this "obstacle" at work. We will just say I've seen this obstacle coming
up from down stream for quite a while now. Friday it quickly approached.
I'm so glad I woke up this morning and read this. That in the midst of my
restless sleep last night He prepared these words for me as I woke. That He
would remind me to keep my focus on Him and not the obstacle. I began
to think about a Geology class we (Psych majors) had to take. How we
learned of things like rivers and how when the flow and current became
strong it would cut a course over time and form a new bend in the river.
As the rivers of our life flows along hopefully on a peaceful beautiful
landscaped scene...and then the river banks get narrow and up ahead
a large boulder laying right in the middle of the banks. And you may
think this is it...this is the end...how in the world....what in the world.
God is reminding us today to keep our eyes on Him and not the
boulder.
I know that God has placed me in this place in the river/work
"for such a time as this". As I've finally reached this dreaded
boulder...I pray and ask God Almighty not to just find a way around
it but that for the "boulder's" sake He will overflow His Water
to soak a sun dried piece of broken rock.
Girls, I have to walk in Monday...and I need God to speak through
me more than for me...the extra prayers would sure help!

Keep the focus on Him and not the obstacle!!

I took this picture with my cell phone while going to work today.

I was stopped at a red light at the time and not driving =)

This post may seem simple in thought...but it was something God

used today to catch my attention. It was one of those moments

that something you've heard, read or even know just flips like a

light switch. I love those moments! Today God just made it so

real and vivid to me...or else I would have missed or even dismissed

it.

I was looking at the clouds and there was this mixture of dark clouds

left over from Hurricane Gustav and peeks of blue sky. Then as

quick as I could look back down and straight ahead it was raining and

completely dark again. Just like that it hit...that's the way my life

has been in the last year or so. One minute it's raining, next minute

some sunshine, a few more minutes and it's cloudy, then raining

again....thus the cycle rolls on and on. For some reason today it

struck me that...yes....He is always there. No matter if it's cloudy,

raining, storming or sunny...He is there behind it all....with me!!

It may look like He is gone or feel like He is gone but He's not!

It was important for Him to open my eyes to this today...not

because I didn't know He wasn't there. It was to remind me that

He is going to reveal things to me in His time. Here's something I

read the first of the week from Oswald Chambers:

"You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you

know is that God knows what He is doing... Each morning you

wake it is to be a "going out" building in confidence on God.

Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will

never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do;

He reveals to you Who He is."

I think that in the midst of my "going out" I'm making a trip

He has for me through a deep dark forest. I feel like I can't

see where I'm going or which way to walk. I'm not sure God

is going to tell me what He is up to until it becomes hindsight.

I cling to the knowlege that He knows what He is doing and I

trust that He is going to guide my way. I long with a hunger

deep in me to see and wait as He reveals to me Who He Is!!

What an amazing statement...He won't reveal the details of

this or that but instead He reveals Himself....I may not get

answers but I'll get Him!

Row Row Row your boat....

Rain Rain go away....


We have received more rain in the last two days than we normally
get all summer. We have had some small flooding in town...I am a
country girl...and a few trees down here and there. I'm so grateful
that God didn't allow the winds to do more damage across the state.
We are out of school another day. I guess we will have to wait and
see about tomorrow.

Okay, on to some best news....can you say it that way? First, I
have to tell you something funny "Emmy G." said. Last Sunday
night both the kids rode home with me from church. My nephew
yells out the window..."Mom, I'm going with Aunt Melanie!"
My niece is in the back and yells..."My r 2!" (I am too).
Man, I love those kiddos!! OK, back to the news...
As some of you remember at my Grandmother's birthday party
"Emmy G." announces that she is going to be a Big Sister!!!!

Well, her Mom went to the Dr. yesterday and we found out that

he/she will be arriving around March 31 st. I can't wait until we

find out if it's a Boy or a Girl!!!! I also, can't wait to put that

sweet head on my shoulder and pat that bottom until he/she

can't stand me anymore!!!!

I've had a friend remind me lately to watch for....falling rocks....no

just kidding...God's signs of love. So watch out today for HIM to

show you how much He loves you...let me know what you find!!!

A neat thing happened yesterday when I was in the grocery store.
As you know in my last post or so- I mentioned that I had started
walking. Well, I was going along in the grocery store and certian
old friends from the shelves started "waving" at me. Waves of
temptations from my old friend "Little Debbie" you know she
makes those awsome little brownies with the chopped up nuts on
top. Then I ran into the chip aisle..oh mercy..I grabbed a bag of
Cheetos for the kids and took off before my eyes could catch the
Doritos! Then as I'm thinking let's get some...I caught myself
thinking (not talking aloud) I can't eat that I have to go walking
in a little while or I did all that walking I'm not going to blow it
for that! Not that my discipline is strong but for now it's a
steady go.
I've thought back today on our last Ladies Night at church. We
are gearing up for our next Bible study and we wanted the
night to center around getting focused. I heard Nicki at
Three Girly Girls doing one of her Bible study podcast. She
was talking about filling containers with the wrong things.
We took the examples and made a short skit out of it. We
put clothes in the trash can instead of the clothes basket,
trash in a flower vase, and a fish in a coffee pot of water.


So many times we do the same thing in our lives. We fill our lives
full of things like....worry, stress, food, depression, bitterness, anger, ect.


For me these are a few of the things I pick up first. Instead of picking up
my Bible, putting in a praise cd or hitting my knees in prayer.


It's time to empty out the things that have drifted in and don't belong.
It's time to fill up with the Bread of Life and drink deeply from the
Living Water....so we can produce the Fruit we were intended to bare.